Topic of discussion: I can do whatever I want!

I am entitled to live my life. I keep talking about changing, and I do keep changing. I already lost about 70 pounds and I feel great. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve and trust me I will be there soon enough. I had something TRAGIC happen to me.. IT reminded me that NO one gives a fuck about me except my child. I am not saying that people don't or won't care about me.. It just really reminded me that I have one life, and if I keep making it sorry I will never get to where I want to be. I have all the power here. I have a very important relocation on the horizon. I have given people 2 or three places where I may end up, so I can see where the damn mole is.

Anyway.. my point is I am entitled to change my mind. I don't have to tell anyone, I don't have to give them a heads up. I can just change my fucking mind. And what ever I say I can do.. I CAN!! If I want to be in a relationship this week and in 3 weeks decide I don't want to be.. surprise I will. I am divorced and I can't say that I ever want to be married again. I LOVE the infatuation stage of a relationship, when everything can still go right. After that, I just don't see potential in the dudes I see. It has nothing to do with their character; I just don't want to be bothered with anyone elses bullshit. I got enough of my own to deal with.. I want to act a little out a little, ok a lot. I want to sing loud and dance everywhere instead of walking. I am probably gonna stop blogging here. I will set up my new blog full of adventures and I will let you know when its up and functional. The new blog will have a lot more of my random fun times, maybe a lot less of these long drawn out self epiphanies..... yes I still have them frequently and I try to make them relate-able.. but some of ya'll don't know me enough to even begin to understand why I am the way I am.

Anyhow.. Peace and much love to ya!

Perpetual Forward Motion

I haven't written in a while. I sometimes feel like I don't have a word to say to anyone.  I have been spending this time, working on every aspect of me. I was always searching for a good job; I realized at a very young age I was very special and had the potential to do what ever I wanted. But the funny thing is the primary person who was supposed to be helping me conquer my proverbial world, was belittling me; making me feel as though what ever abuse I got I deserved.  When my I explain to my friends that I am the black sheep they are times shocked, because I have no reason to be a black sheep.  I have done many wrongs and I make no excuses for what I did. I earned my stripes and I wear them well.  But I have spent a lifetime wandering without a purpose, trying to please anyone who would give me the high five that I wanted. So I have been taking this time to work on me.. Give me all the high fives I need. I am 100% single and I could not be more happy with me.. I love the changes I am making in my life.. I have a ton more to tell you.. but I want to update you on each subject individually. for now I am down 35+ pounds and I am happy about it..